Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in not as cool as you's LiveJournal:

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Saturday, July 5th, 2008
12:43 pm	you're a fresco of a sunset from the Florence skyline she's beautiful, yeah, she's beautiful you're a fresco of the peak of Mount Everest she's the peak, yeah, she's the peak you're a fresco of the greatest night of my life she's the moon, yeah, she's the moon (Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 3rd, 2008
6:06 pm	if i could take it all back i would, no questions asked if i could right all the wrongs of yesterday, i would im trying to find a way to show you im for real with every touch a feel it in me to say the words every moment i spend, i throw caution to wind every time you let me in, a subtle grasp a hug i hope lasts the words i speak, i speak from the heart of me when i say.. im standing on the edge now, way beyond the depths of me holding my hand out wanting you next to me ive come to realize something i should have way back then what good is tomorrow when i love you today what good is it when i love you today i save my breath when im around you im lifted and breath less with you by my side the world as our stage i only know we cant go wrong ill continue it later..kinda lost my train of thought. (Comment on this)
12:59 am	what good is tomorrow when you live for today. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 28th, 2005
12:15 am	a song i just wrote.. With a fictacious breathe I know i lived No remote concern of what ive done Its more apathetical to console where youre coming from Its never where youre going to be A dream is what you make believe Believe its all in what you see Doesnt help when youre too blind to see The life you lead, only what you need Its a luscious great wide storm Where the rest of the town doesnt look so down Where the sun smiles with its vibrant rays Its only then you realise Its a painting on a wall, the sun is flourescent Throw back another for my older brother We'll be the talk of the town tonight Go deep, we're the catch in the crowd Ask me does this matter now Nothing matters when all is said and done Just another night undone A mix of print and photographs Make up for the void of memory Accomplishing defeat Its all we have when we're gone Its a luscious great wide storm Where the rest of the town doesnt look so down Where the sun smiles with its vibrant rays Its only then you realise Its a painting on a wall, the sun is flourescent Throw back another for my older brother We'll be the talk of the town tonight This collosal mass divided from the core Thought was never capable of being weighed But its so heavy in the moment Take two philosophy time, hands to the left Idle dance with charisma stringing the moves So deep, abyss is just there from the start All in our minds, soft speak mute noise We were the confound. i couldnt really let this thought go.. Name it if you can, i couldnt. Current Music: Unconditional Love by Tupac (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, August 12th, 2005
2:59 am	Puddle of Mudd - Blurry Everything's so blurry And everyone's so fake And everybody's empty and Everything is so messed up Pre-occupied without you I cannot live at all My whole world surrounds you I stumble then I crawl You could be my someone You could be my scene You know that I'll protect you >From all of the obscene I wonder what you're doin' Imagine where you are There's oceans in between us But that's not very far (Chorus) Can you take it all away Can you take it all away When you shoved it in my face This pain you gave to me Can you take it all away Can you take it all away When you shoved it in my face Everyone is changing There's no one left that's real So make up your own ending And let me know just how you feel 'Cause I am lost without you I cannot live at all My whole world surrounds you I stumble then I crawl And you could be my someone You could be my scene You know that I will save you from all of the unclean I wonder what you're doin' I wonder where you are There's oceans in between us but that's not very far (Chorus) Can you take it all away Can you take it all away When you shoved it in my face This pain you gave to me Can you take it all away Can you take it all away When you shoved it in my face This pain you gave to me Oh, nobody told me what you thought Nobody told me what to say Everyone showed you where to turn Told you where to run away Nobody told you where to hide Nobody told you what to say Everyone showed you where to turn Showed you where to run away (Chorus) Can you take it all away Can you take it all away When you shoved it in my face This pain you gave to me Can you take it all away Can you take it all away When you shoved it in my face This pain you gave to me NOOOOOOOO! This pain you gave to me Take it all away Take it all away Pain ya gave to me Take it all away This pain you gave to me Take it all away This pain you gave to me (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, July 8th, 2005
12:18 am	many of you cant attest to the skillz i possess all these faggots hate to see kev at his best (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, July 1st, 2005
3:00 am	if i had the words to speak would you have the ears to listen? where were you while we were getting high..? so many questions i have but you have no answers. why am i here? what do the people i meet have to do with my outcome? who will matter the most to me? what will become of me? the stars know, i must. why have you put these people in my path? what is their purpose? what is my purpose? am i just a vessel waiting to be filled? ..why do you ignore me..? ..why is it that everyone i like goes away? i need a little time to wake up. i need a little time to fall asleep. i need a little time to rest my mind. i need a little time to write to you. i need a little time to rebuild what has fallen. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 21st, 2005
7:46 am	got my tattoo yesterday. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, June 10th, 2005
12:24 am	essay. Throughout history there have been several important and influential civilizations. Two of the most important are the Roman and Greek civilizations. These two civilizations were advanced compared to many other civilizations during their respective eras. However, they were not the only two advanced civilizations during the ancient eras. The Chinese civilizations were also quite advanced for the time period. The Chinese had a government system, military strategy, medicine, written script, architecture, agriculture, as well as many other things that the Romans and Greeks had. The Romans and Greeks had these advancements, however they were not as advanced as the Chinese civilizations, yet the Roman and Greek civilizations are the only civilizations to be considered as classical. For all the accomplishments the Chinese had, the civilization should be considered a classical civilization along with both the Roman and Greek civilizations. The Chinese political structure was revolutionary for its time. China was ruled by several dynasties over the course of history, each for a period of time in which the rulers implemented their philosophies into the country. It all started with the Xia dynasty, which was from about 2000-1700 BC, where not much is known. It was only until recent that the dynasty was discovered, with the uncovering of urbanized areas, tombs, and bronze where the Xia civilization was said to have been. It is said that the Xia dynasty is the link between prehistoric China and known Chinese history. However, written inscriptions were not around in China until the Shang dynasty, which was the second known Chinese dynasty. The Shang dynasty started in 1700 BC and ended around 1027 BC. During the reign of the Shang dynasty the introduction of archaic Chinese language was used. This was discovered through the inscriptions left on tortoise shells and flat cattle bones. Since the Shang dynasty had the development of written script, the dynasty is referred to as the cradle of the entire Chinese civilization. The dynasty was based on agriculture for the most part, through hunting and the use of animals. Even though the Shang dynasty dates almost 4000 years before today, they had a high level of civilization, as they were able to refine and had phenomenal workmanship with bronze. This is evident with the tombs of former Shang kings. The kings in the Shang dynasty were much like the Medieval Ages kings in a sense that they were hereditary. However, the hereditary Shang kings actually stayed in power instead of being conquered, much like those during the Medieval Ages. Also, the kings were the leaders of the religious cult which honoured their ancestors and spirits through worship. The Shang dynasty, although it was somewhat primitive to the later Chinese civilizations, was eventually overthrown. Thus, the Zhou dynasty began. The Zhou dynasty shared the same language and culture as the Shang, but was more ambitious with colonization. The Zhou dynasty reigned from 1027 BC until 221 BC, which lasted longer than any of the Chinese dynasties. Unlike the Shang dynasty, the Zhou had a different way to declare a ruler. The ruler had to have a “mandate of heaven” which allowed the ruler to govern by divine right. When a new ruler came into power, it was said that the previous ruler lost his mandate, therefore were dethroned. During the Zhou era, family ties brought power, instead of depending more on feudal legal bonds. Also, a more routine agricultural taxation occurred which brought the people higher in society substantial amounts of money. However, the Zhou era came to an end after the dynasty broke into Eastern and Western parts, which became weak and were overthrown by the Qin dynasty, which was lead by one ruler. The ruler became the first Chinese emperor. This was Emperor Qin Shi Huang Di, who developed and influenced quite a lot in Chinese history. Emperor Qin Shi Huang Di was the first emperor in Chinese history. He was born in 259 BC as Ying Zheng, but changed his name after becoming emperor to Qin Shi Huang, which means the “first emperor.” (Emperor Qin Shi Huang, website) Although he was born into royalty, Emperor Qin was still an aggressive and ambitious man. He succeeded the throne of the Qin province at age 13, and took complete control of China at the age of 22. (Emperor Qin Shi Huang, website) Over his time as a central emperor, he unified China through force, and reformed the political system. One of the first things he did was abolish the enfeoffment system that was in place. He also brought in a standardized measurement system, written script, a legal system, and currency into the empire. (Qin Dynasty: Chinese History, website ) Also, he divided the country into 36 sections, much like provinces, which all had their own government that ruled and were ruled under Emperor Qin Shi Huang Di. However, there were many assassination attempts on Emperor Qin Shi Huang, as for the most part he reigned tyrannically. (Qin Dynasty: Chinese History, website ) He imposed great taxes and slavery through the construction of his two great monuments. Eventually, Emperor Qin Shi Huang Di died in 210 BC, and shortly after in 206 BC the Qin Dynasty was overthrown. (Emperor Qin Shi Huang, website) Over his reign, the Emperor had two major present day attractions built. When he unified China, he ordered the Great Wall of China to be completed. (History of the Great Wall of China, website) Before, segments of the Wall were used as defensive military strongholds. When the Emperor ordered the completion, it represented the unification of China and the strength of the emperor. Not only was the Wall constructed to show the unification of the Chinese empire, it was built to keep or deter intruding forces from invasion. This kept the nomadic Mongols out, and took away their advantage of superior battle skills on horseback. The only time in history, to date, that the Great Wall has ever been passed with devastating results was when Kublai Kahn convinced a general at a gate in the wall to allow the Mongolian army in. This is also the only period where foreign rule was in China. (History of the Great Wall of China, website) Although the Great Wall has been extended and repaired, it was Emperor Qin Shi Huang Di who is known in history as the one who ordered the construction and completion of the Great Wall. The original wall was made from rock from the landscape, which makes the current Wall blend in with the surrounding land. After construction was completed on the Great Wall, the remaining workers, scholars and mathematicians who built the Wall were killed in order to conceal the secrets about the Wall’s creation. The second artefact that Emperor Qin had built was the 6,000 Terra Cotta Warriors. The warriors were built out of his obsession with immortality, and because he could not find an elixir for immortality he had the warriors made in order to show the he has power even in death. (Emperor Qin Shi Huang, website) The 6,000 warriors each have their own unique features, and include infantrymen, archers, as well as warriors in full armor, generals, horses, and chariots. Furthermore, the warriors are full, life-sized men. The men of Emperor Qin Shi Huang Di’s army were the men used to model for the warriors. Each of the terra cotta warriors were hand sculpted in order to incorporate every single feature from the actual living warrior to the terra cotta clay model. Overall, it took about 30 years to complete all of the uniquely sculpted warriors as well as his burial chamber, and took over 700,000 people to construct. (Qin Dynasty: Chinese History, website ) They were found by the Emperors’ burial chamber, all facing him signifying that he was still in power even after death. After Emperor Qin Shi Huang Di died, the empire went into a large civil dispute. This is when the Han dynasty came into power. From 206 BC until 220 AD, the Han dynasty ruled with only a brief interruption by a reformer, which lasted 15 years. The Han dynasty kept much of the infrastructure that the Qin dynasty had, however backed away slightly from a total centralized rule. Also, Confucian ideals of government were accepted and implemented by the government, and the scholars of Confucian ideals gained great status within the society. The Confucian ideals of government were outlawed during the Qin dynasty. The Han dynasty was really a revival of the arts and knowledge, as intellect, literacy and artistic ability were greatly appreciated. The Han dynasty also saw the birth of the most famous Chinese historian, Sima Qian (145-87 BC) who covered many legendary emperors in the chronicles that were named Shiji (Historical Records). Not only were intellect, literacy and artistic abilities revived, the Chinese had technological advancements. These were in the form of paper and porcelain. Also, the Han dynasty had great military power. The military expanded the empire, which allowed for the possibility of the infamous “silk route” to come about. This route was used to export silk to the Roman empire. Confucius and Kong Fuzi (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, June 6th, 2005
11:56 am	Svet. hey svet, i have some songs for you. i think you'd like them, because i do. they help me with ideas and help overcome blocks. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, May 29th, 2005
6:34 pm	i was determined on a saturday but weak i fell into the sunday biting my nail nervously i began to bleed i tried to weap but no one was around to comfort me except for the soothing sounds of a stranger known to me by a paper with words describing a state of misery and depression i was so numb i fell and regressed, distressed laughing nervously with tears in my eyes theres so much to hide but so much to keep locked up no one needs to know how much pain you can hold its more than a container much like a bottle overflowing with liquid just pouring out into the night where no one sleeps theyre all transfixed by my asphyxiation in deliberation for sympathy with the act of gaining attention like its something i need another status beside my name like a walking hall of fame my feet are so i need to rest but theres no clean sheets theyve been puked on already because i didnt make it to the porcelain circle where i cried praying to the gods hoping i would die the most horrible death im not a good person im not someone nice i cant seem to reason with myself i dont even care if i dont wake up im the worlds worst asshole i need to give up but thats not the way i was meant to be instead i suffer and wish it would end im just looking for someone i can call a friend to give me my one last wish that they enjoy the last night with me smoking too many cigarettes drinking too much alcohol that i collapse to the ground the poison in me is more potent now ive found a way to drink so much more and much less time to strike me down im praying once again wont you please take me now ive been here too long ive seen too much i just want to be among the spirits not have to deal with this life measured by the moments measured in time i wish i could find the mother of mine but she;s long gone from contact so im mailing a letter to her former house and i hope she still resides because i wrote a note while i cried i told her she was the greatest one i could be thankful for i just wish i could have made her happier i was a wreck in tough shape when i left and i was too afraid to come back failure wasnt an option in my head i couldnt stand to see her with nothing but bad news so please i pray to god you get this letter because i spent so long trying to write it out trying to get the words to sound so right im still like before a perfectionist in debt to score a line on the screen but i couldnt achieve the dream we both had it felt so odd it was a passing fad just like my life its coming to end so i say goodbye to you, i love you most and if you see anyone that i called a friend tell them i was happy tell them not to be sad ive moved far away and i cant come back ill write to you another time the weathers fine, bye for now love ya kevin. (Comment on this)
Monday, May 23rd, 2005
10:15 pm	such a good song.. November by Azure Ray. so i'm waiting for this test to end so these lighter days can soon begin i'll be alone but maybe more carefree like a kite that floats so effortlessly i was afraid to be alone but now i'm scared that's how i like to be all these faces, none the same how can there be so many personalities so many lifeless, empty hands so many hearts in great demand and now my sorrow seems so far away until i'm taken by these bolts of pain but i turn them off and tuck them away till these rainy days that make them stay and then i'll cry so hard to these sad songs and the words still ring, once here, now gone and they echo through my head every day and i don't think they'll ever go away just like thinking of your childhood home but we can't go back, we're on our own, oh but i'm about to give this one more shot and find it in myself i'll find it in myself so we're speeding towards that time of year to the day that marks that you're not here and i think i'll want to be alone so please understand if i don't answer the phone i'll just sit and stare at my deep blue walls until i can see nothing at all only particles, some fast, some slow all my eyes can see is all i know, oh but i'm about to give this one more shot and find it in myself i'll find it in myself do do do... (Comment on this)
Sunday, May 15th, 2005
7:21 pm	one thing to say.. ill fight like hell, to hide that im giving up. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, April 29th, 2005
11:51 pm	Enter Charles Charles: Jeffrey, I have arrived Jeffrey: Good day, sir, may I take your coat? Charles: Please do. *Jeffrey takes Charles' coat and hat* Jeffrey: Master Charles, how was the day? I pray t'was good? Charles: T'was decent, nothing too extraordinary and I thank you for your interest. Jeffrey: Why t'is my humblest and most sincere duty, sir, to welcome you to your abode. The welcome of yours is of noblest as you, sir, are noble in character. Charles: Might dinner be prepared? Jeffrey: That it is, sir, dinner is prepared. Please follow to the table. *Charles follows Jeffrey to the table* Charles: Jeffrey, when you have the time, please shine my shoes. The roads were rather harsh in the muddy condition. This rainy day is most unpleasant. Jeffrey: Yes, sir. But first, please have a seat sir. *Jeffrey pulls chair out for Charles at the dinner table. Exit Jeffrey, Re-Enter Jeffrey with Charles the 2nd and Mary, Jeffrey again pulls the seats out for the family.* gotta love being the scriptwriter for a presentation. Mary: Thank you kind gentleman Jeffrey. Charles the 2nd: Thanks, or not! HAHA! *Charles the 2nd makes a face at Jeffrey, Jeffrey exits to the kitchen.* Mary: Oh Charles, behave. We're at the dinner table. Charles: Your mother is right Charles, manners and respect, it stands out in our city. Charles the 2nd: Yes, Papa! Mary: Good lad. Charles the 2nd: Papa, tell me a story. A story of the world! Charles: Well, any particular story you would like to hear my lad? Charles the 2nd: The story about the fire! Mary: Charles the 2nd, that is not an appropriate tale for this moment. That is a night time story only. Charles: Your mother is correct, Charles. Charles the 2nd: But it's so good, Papa! Charles: Like your mother said, lad, t'is a night time story only. *Re-Enter Jeffrey* Jeffrey: Dinner is about to be served. *Exit Jeffrey once again* Mary: Shall we say grace? Charles: The words, right from my mouth they were taken. Bow your heads please. "Father Lord God, we humbly thank you for the blessings you treat us with, the luxuries we possess, the unity we have, the food, that of which we are about to consume, but most of all we thank you for the sacrifice of your only son Jesus Christ. Forever we are in debt to you, thank you. Amen" *Enter Jeffrey with first course* (Comment on this)
Thursday, April 28th, 2005
3:54 pm	Time's Desire i feel completely naive im ticking clock, an alarm patiently waiting to go boom boom exploding in the most passionate way plastic and patterns in a different design lay in shambles across your floor with the numbers pasted on the screen in a bright red shade like the hue from the crimson flowing freely through your body like a running stream i cant catch no matter how fast i go i just indulge the plan that no matter how much i think about it it can only change with each passing moment im frequent with the glances i give you something in love in pursuit with desire in my name i have somewhere with you i know that its true blue is the sea that is welcoming me by our place by the beach that beckons for us this place we call home in an awkward fashion looking like an add for a department store the curtains all shaped in a linear state with a shade of green thats lookin mean but when morning arrives a smile thrives with you sleeping next to me youre not perfect but youre perfect for me and then i thought a sympathetic thought at the funeral of my former relative you know im gonna grow old some day ill have to find a change in my way to be someone foreign to me to tell a story thats boring to me itll all click in when the wrinkles layer in on my face in a shrewd and plotting way in some sort of fashion indescribable by the words that i know and it eventually will all stop with an ending so someday ill maybe tell you how this story ends in the most tragical way shape and form another year another page im frequent with the glances i give you something in love in pursuit with desire in my name i have somewhere with you i know that its true blue is the sea that is welcoming me by our place by the beach that beckons for us this place we call home in an awkward fashion looking like an add for a department store the curtains all shaped in a linear state with a shade of green thats lookin mean but when morning arrives a smile thrives with you sleeping next to me youre not perfect but youre perfect for me and now i think im completely alone crying on my throne thinking so much too philisophical to share but its great that i dont care i just figure its part of life but then i know i just happen to know that its so odd we measure life in an age not in the experiences we've had or the times we've embraced, open and closed because those are just for the old folks like folklore from a fallen man his cane was too far out and now his cane is turned into a casket we all die someday but youll be eternal a story travelled a song remembered everything ageless leads to you and your beautiful self. this is just some other stuff i wrote..lol. then night comes along and im hoping no wishing that i go into a state without a return, a comatosed death induced by the vision i have with you not next to me thats a fortune i see very unclearly when i die and deteriorate i hope i decompose in the field where the flowers grow big and i become the flower you take to your nose and sniff in a sweet way i hope it tells you that im patiently waiting for you to come join me here and when the flower withers i know ill come back to you in a different form maybe the shoes you wear to protect your feet from the cold of the world maybe the food that you eat so ill forever be a part of your delicate heart when your muscles grow at least ill know that your healthier than i ever was (Comment on this)
Saturday, April 23rd, 2005
12:19 am	why live when the only concrete path is death? live to die live a lie live a tragedy live a comdey live a drama live an adventure live to surrender surrender. succumb. your life is done. package sealed. you cant be healed. youre a ticking clock waiting to be stopped. your alarm goes off. everyone watches. youre dead. everyone respects everyone recollects. everyone goes on. but you. stay where you are. stay away from it all. you cant stop the ticking clock. so why not speed it up? its only natural for us. to speed everything up. and when were being drained. from our crimson wrists. i shall say "they cut our wrists like cheap coupons; suicide was on sale today." FUCK LIFE, DEATH IS BETTER. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 20th, 2005
12:06 am	dont take life too seriously.. its only temporary. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, April 18th, 2005
1:19 am	so.. some philisophical things.. if we're born to eventually die, what is the point in living? our existence is essentially meaningless, because the universe is indifferent to anything that goes on in the world. we are a clutter of matter, and matter is abiotic.. so we're a clutter of non-living, tiny particles that are immortal. so, even if we die it doesnt matter because everything is recycled. you came from the dead. thats intense. so basically, what im saying is history doesnt matter, the names in history have no meaning..no matter what they did or what happens because its all matter, abiotic stuff that will CONTINUE to go on even if this world explodes. thats so beautiful. so what is the point in living, if our life is so meaningless? i dont know. but youre living to find out that the only thing in life that is promised is death. we live to die, from the craddle to the casket..... now.. another thing.. truth. truth is beauty but beauty is misleading and someone said.. truth is beauty, and beauty is truth.. so is truth misleading? indeed. in every truth, theres a hint of a lie, or an emphasis/perspective from the speaker of the truth. therefore.. there is no such thing as the "real" truth. that is beautiful. and then theres pretending.. but pretending is just an illusion. a quick set up for a major downfall. even better. so..what is there in life? nothing. thats the moral of the mind that speaks. (Comment on this)
Sunday, April 3rd, 2005
1:39 am	Am I the answer to your prayer? am i the answer to your prayer? that remains to be heard. Every life is a riddle, every soul, a song. The soul sings and the riddle is solved. The Siren's song ends when the riddle is solved. A rebirth, when the song turns angelic or demonic. I am all that remains in the world of mysteries. Am i a priest? No. Do i reject articles of faith? No. So what am i? I am a confused soul, split between the struggles of heaven and hell, and i posses claves regni caelorum. I know this place, this residence i reside in is no longer the place for me. It is a place i'll return to someday, i know this. I believe i'll go to the city of emperors, the city of martyrs. I'll leave everything behind, a new sunrise shall awake, a new sunset shall fall upon my eyes. And i shall realize what is needed to be understood, what is needed to be known. Faith is the path, action is my footsteps. (Comment on this)
Saturday, April 2nd, 2005
11:43 pm	so i performed another one today. what an experience feels like im taking everything from them and its all coming into me and then.. i see everything, almost like deja vue just its from the past. intense. (Comment on this)