urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:lyricologist not as cool as you not as cool as you 2008-07-05T16:53:30Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:lyricologist:27985 2008-07-05T16:53:30Z 2008-07-05T16:53:30Z you're a fresco of a sunset from the Florence skyline<br />she's beautiful, yeah, she's beautiful<br />you're a fresco of the peak of Mount Everest<br />she's the peak, yeah, she's the peak<br />you're a fresco of the greatest night of my life<br />she's the moon, yeah, she's the moon urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:lyricologist:27757 2008-06-03T22:29:29Z 2008-06-03T22:29:29Z if i could take it all back i would, no questions asked<br />if i could right all the wrongs of yesterday, i would<br />im trying to find a way to show you im for real<br />with every touch a feel it in me to say the words<br />every moment i spend, i throw caution to wind<br />every time you let me in, a subtle grasp<br />a hug i hope lasts<br /><br />the words i speak, i speak from the heart of me<br />when i say..<br />im standing on the edge now, way beyond the depths of me<br />holding my hand out wanting you next to me<br />ive come to realize something i should have way back then<br />what good is tomorrow when i love you today<br />what good is it when i love you today<br /><br /><br />i save my breath when im around you<br />im lifted and breath less with you by my side<br />the world as our stage i only know we cant go wrong<br /><br /><br /><br />ill continue it later..kinda lost my train of thought. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:lyricologist:27490 2008-06-03T05:00:07Z 2008-06-03T05:00:07Z what good is tomorrow when you live for today. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:lyricologist:27281 2005-09-28T04:41:57Z 2005-09-28T04:42:21Z Unconditional Love by Tupac With a fictacious breathe I know i lived<br />No remote concern of what ive done<br />Its more apathetical to console where youre coming from<br />Its never where youre going to be<br />A dream is what you make believe<br />Believe its all in what you see<br />Doesnt help when youre too blind to see<br />The life you lead, only what you need<br /><br />Its a luscious great wide storm<br />Where the rest of the town doesnt look so down<br />Where the sun smiles with its vibrant rays<br />Its only then you realise<br />Its a painting on a wall, the sun is flourescent<br />Throw back another for my older brother <br />We'll be the talk of the town tonight<br /><br />Go deep, we're the catch in the crowd<br />Ask me does this matter now<br />Nothing matters when all is said and done<br />Just another night undone<br />A mix of print and photographs <br />Make up for the void of memory<br />Accomplishing defeat <br />Its all we have when we're gone<br /><br />Its a luscious great wide storm<br />Where the rest of the town doesnt look so down<br />Where the sun smiles with its vibrant rays<br />Its only then you realise<br />Its a painting on a wall, the sun is flourescent<br />Throw back another for my older brother <br />We'll be the talk of the town tonight<br /><br />This collosal mass divided from the core<br />Thought was never capable of being weighed<br />But its so heavy in the moment <br />Take two philosophy time, hands to the left<br />Idle dance with charisma stringing the moves<br />So deep, abyss is just there from the start<br />All in our minds, soft speak mute noise<br />We were the confound.<br /><br /><br />i couldnt really let this thought go..<br /><br />Name it if you can, i couldnt. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:lyricologist:25915 2005-08-12T06:59:35Z 2005-08-12T06:59:35Z Everything's so blurry <br />And everyone's so fake <br />And everybody's empty and <br />Everything is so messed up<br />Pre-occupied without you <br />I cannot live at all <br />My whole world surrounds you<br />I stumble then I crawl <br />You could be my someone <br />You could be my scene <br />You know that I'll protect you <br />&gt;From all of the obscene <br />I wonder what you're doin' <br />Imagine where you are <br />There's oceans in between us <br />But that's not very far<br /><br />(Chorus)<br />Can you take it all away <br />Can you take it all away<br />When you shoved it in my face <br />This pain you gave to me<br />Can you take it all away<br />Can you take it all away<br />When you shoved it in my face<br /><br />Everyone is changing <br />There's no one left that's real <br />So make up your own ending <br />And let me know just how you feel<br />'Cause I am lost without you<br />I cannot live at all <br />My whole world surrounds you <br />I stumble then I crawl <br />And you could be my someone <br />You could be my scene <br />You know that I will save you <br />from all of the unclean <br />I wonder what you're doin' <br />I wonder where you are <br />There's oceans in between us <br />but that's not very far<br /><br />(Chorus)<br /><br />Can you take it all away <br />Can you take it all away<br />When you shoved it in my face <br />This pain you gave to me<br />Can you take it all away <br />Can you take it all away<br />When you shoved it in my face<br />This pain you gave to me<br />Oh, nobody told me what you thought<br />Nobody told me what to say<br />Everyone showed you where to turn<br />Told you where to run away<br />Nobody told you where to hide<br />Nobody told you what to say<br />Everyone showed you where to turn<br />Showed you where to run away<br /><br />(Chorus)<br /><br />Can you take it all away <br />Can you take it all away<br />When you shoved it in my face<br />This pain you gave to me<br />Can you take it all away <br />Can you take it all away<br />When you shoved it in my face <br />This pain you gave to me<br />NOOOOOOOO! This pain you gave to me<br /><br />Take it all away<br />Take it all away<br />Pain ya gave to me<br />Take it all away<br />This pain you gave to me<br />Take it all away<br />This pain you gave to me urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:lyricologist:24206 2005-07-08T04:19:41Z 2005-07-08T04:19:41Z many of you cant attest to the skillz i possess<br />all these faggots hate to see kev at his best urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:lyricologist:23507 2005-07-01T07:11:00Z 2005-07-01T07:11:00Z if i had the words to speak<br />would you have the ears to listen?<br /><br />where were you while we were getting high..?<br /><br />so many questions i have<br />but you have no answers.<br /><br />why am i here?<br />what do the people i meet have to do with my outcome?<br />who will matter the most to me?<br />what will become of me?<br />the stars know, i must.<br />why have you put these people in my path?<br />what is their purpose?<br />what is my purpose?<br />am i just a vessel waiting to be filled?<br /><br />..why do you ignore me..?<br />..why is it that everyone i like goes away?<br /><br />i need a little time to wake up.<br />i need a little time to fall asleep.<br />i need a little time to rest my mind.<br />i need a little time to write to you.<br />i need a little time to rebuild what has fallen. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:lyricologist:22782 2005-06-21T11:47:09Z 2005-06-21T11:47:09Z got my tattoo yesterday. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:lyricologist:22137 2005-06-10T04:25:42Z 2005-06-10T04:25:42Z Throughout history there have been several important and influential civilizations. Two of the most important are the Roman and Greek civilizations. These two civilizations were advanced compared to many other civilizations during their respective eras. However, they were not the only two advanced civilizations during the ancient eras. The Chinese civilizations were also quite advanced for the time period. The Chinese had a government system, military strategy, medicine, written script, architecture, agriculture, as well as many other things that the Romans and Greeks had. The Romans and Greeks had these advancements, however they were not as advanced as the Chinese civilizations, yet the Roman and Greek civilizations are the only civilizations to be considered as classical. For all the accomplishments the Chinese had, the civilization should be considered a classical civilization along with both the Roman and Greek civilizations. <br /> The Chinese political structure was revolutionary for its time. China was ruled by several dynasties over the course of history, each for a period of time in which the rulers implemented their philosophies into the country. It all started with the Xia dynasty, which was from about 2000-1700 BC, where not much is known. It was only until recent that the dynasty was discovered, with the uncovering of urbanized areas, tombs, and bronze where the Xia civilization was said to have been. It is said that the Xia dynasty is the link between prehistoric China and known Chinese history. However, written inscriptions were not around in China until the Shang dynasty, which was the second known Chinese dynasty. <br /> The Shang dynasty started in 1700 BC and ended around 1027 BC. During the reign of the Shang dynasty the introduction of archaic Chinese language was used. This was discovered through the inscriptions left on tortoise shells and flat cattle bones. Since the Shang dynasty had the development of written script, the dynasty is referred to as the cradle of the entire Chinese civilization. The dynasty was based on agriculture for the most part, through hunting and the use of animals. Even though the Shang dynasty dates almost 4000 years before today, they had a high level of civilization, as they were able to refine and had phenomenal workmanship with bronze. This is evident with the tombs of former Shang kings. The kings in the Shang dynasty were much like the Medieval Ages kings in a sense that they were hereditary. However, the hereditary Shang kings actually stayed in power instead of being conquered, much like those during the Medieval Ages. Also, the kings were the leaders of the religious cult which honoured their ancestors and spirits through worship. The Shang dynasty, although it was somewhat primitive to the later Chinese civilizations, was eventually overthrown. Thus, the Zhou dynasty began. <br /> The Zhou dynasty shared the same language and culture as the Shang, but was more ambitious with colonization. The Zhou dynasty reigned from 1027 BC until 221 BC, which lasted longer than any of the Chinese dynasties. Unlike the Shang dynasty, the Zhou had a different way to declare a ruler. The ruler had to have a “mandate of heaven” which allowed the ruler to govern by divine right. When a new ruler came into power, it was said that the previous ruler lost his mandate, therefore were dethroned. During the Zhou era, family ties brought power, instead of depending more on feudal legal bonds. Also, a more routine agricultural taxation occurred which brought the people higher in society substantial amounts of money. However, the Zhou era came to an end after the dynasty broke into Eastern and Western parts, which became weak and were overthrown by the Qin dynasty, which was lead by one ruler. The ruler became the first Chinese emperor. This was Emperor Qin Shi Huang Di, who developed and influenced quite a lot in Chinese history.<br />Emperor Qin Shi Huang Di was the first emperor in Chinese history. He was born in 259 BC as Ying Zheng, but changed his name after becoming emperor to Qin Shi Huang, which means the “first emperor.” (Emperor Qin Shi Huang, website) Although he was born into royalty, Emperor Qin was still an aggressive and ambitious man. He succeeded the throne of the Qin province at age 13, and took complete control of China at the age of 22. (Emperor Qin Shi Huang, website) Over his time as a central emperor, he unified China through force, and reformed the political system. One of the first things he did was abolish the enfeoffment system that was in place. He also brought in a standardized measurement system, written script, a legal system, and currency into the empire. (Qin Dynasty: Chinese History, website ) Also, he divided the country into 36 sections, much like provinces, which all had their own government that ruled and were ruled under Emperor Qin Shi Huang Di. However, there were many assassination attempts on Emperor Qin Shi Huang, as for the most part he reigned tyrannically. (Qin Dynasty: Chinese History, website ) He imposed great taxes and slavery through the construction of his two great monuments. Eventually, Emperor Qin Shi Huang Di died in 210 BC, and shortly after in 206 BC the Qin Dynasty was overthrown. (Emperor Qin Shi Huang, website) <br />Over his reign, the Emperor had two major present day attractions built. When he unified China, he ordered the Great Wall of China to be completed. (History of the Great Wall of China, website) Before, segments of the Wall were used as defensive military strongholds. When the Emperor ordered the completion, it represented the unification of China and the strength of the emperor. Not only was the Wall constructed to show the unification of the Chinese empire, it was built to keep or deter intruding forces from invasion. This kept the nomadic Mongols out, and took away their advantage of superior battle skills on horseback. The only time in history, to date, that the Great Wall has ever been passed with devastating results was when Kublai Kahn convinced a general at a gate in the wall to allow the Mongolian army in. This is also the only period where foreign rule was in China. (History of the Great Wall of China, website) Although the Great Wall has been extended and repaired, it was Emperor Qin Shi Huang Di who is known in history as the one who ordered the construction and completion of the Great Wall. The original wall was made from rock from the landscape, which makes the current Wall blend in with the surrounding land. After construction was completed on the Great Wall, the remaining workers, scholars and mathematicians who built the Wall were killed in order to conceal the secrets about the Wall’s creation. <br />The second artefact that Emperor Qin had built was the 6,000 Terra Cotta Warriors. The warriors were built out of his obsession with immortality, and because he could not find an elixir for immortality he had the warriors made in order to show the he has power even in death. (Emperor Qin Shi Huang, website) The 6,000 warriors each have their own unique features, and include infantrymen, archers, as well as warriors in full armor, generals, horses, and chariots. Furthermore, the warriors are full, life-sized men. The men of Emperor Qin Shi Huang Di’s army were the men used to model for the warriors. Each of the terra cotta warriors were hand sculpted in order to incorporate every single feature from the actual living warrior to the terra cotta clay model. Overall, it took about 30 years to complete all of the uniquely sculpted warriors as well as his burial chamber, and took over 700,000 people to construct. (Qin Dynasty: Chinese History, website ) They were found by the Emperors’ burial chamber, all facing him signifying that he was still in power even after death.<br />After Emperor Qin Shi Huang Di died, the empire went into a large civil dispute. This is when the Han dynasty came into power. From 206 BC until 220 AD, the Han dynasty ruled with only a brief interruption by a reformer, which lasted 15 years. The Han dynasty kept much of the infrastructure that the Qin dynasty had, however backed away slightly from a total centralized rule. Also, Confucian ideals of government were accepted and implemented by the government, and the scholars of Confucian ideals gained great status within the society. The Confucian ideals of government were outlawed during the Qin dynasty. The Han dynasty was really a revival of the arts and knowledge, as intellect, literacy and artistic ability were greatly appreciated. The Han dynasty also saw the birth of the most famous Chinese historian, Sima Qian (145-87 BC) who covered many legendary emperors in the chronicles that were named Shiji (Historical Records). Not only were intellect, literacy and artistic abilities revived, the Chinese had technological advancements. These were in the form of paper and porcelain. Also, the Han dynasty had great military power. The military expanded the empire, which allowed for the possibility of the infamous “silk route” to come about. This route was used to export silk to the Roman empire. <br /><br />Confucius and Kong Fuzi urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:lyricologist:21585 2005-06-06T15:58:12Z 2005-06-06T15:58:12Z hey svet, i have some songs for you.<br />i think you'd like them, because i do.<br />they help me with ideas and help overcome blocks. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:lyricologist:21354 2005-05-29T22:52:21Z 2005-05-29T22:52:21Z i was determined on a saturday<br />but weak i fell into the sunday<br />biting my nail nervously<br />i began to bleed i tried to weap<br />but no one was around to comfort me<br />except for the soothing sounds<br />of a stranger known to me<br />by a paper with words describing a state<br />of misery and depression i was so numb<br />i fell and regressed, distressed <br />laughing nervously with tears in my eyes<br />theres so much to hide but so much<br />to keep locked up no one needs to know<br />how much pain you can hold its more than <br />a container much like a bottle overflowing<br />with liquid just pouring out<br />into the night where no one sleeps<br />theyre all transfixed by my asphyxiation<br />in deliberation for sympathy <br />with the act of gaining attention<br />like its something i need another<br />status beside my name like<br />a walking hall of fame my feet are so <br />i need to rest but theres no clean sheets<br />theyve been puked on already because i<br />didnt make it to the porcelain circle<br />where i cried praying to the gods<br />hoping i would die the most horrible death<br />im not a good person im not someone nice<br />i cant seem to reason with myself<br />i dont even care if i dont wake up<br />im the worlds worst asshole i need to give up<br />but thats not the way i was meant to be<br />instead i suffer and wish it would end<br />im just looking for someone i can call a friend<br />to give me my one last wish<br />that they enjoy the last night with me<br />smoking too many cigarettes drinking <br />too much alcohol that i collapse to the ground<br />the poison in me is more potent now ive found<br />a way to drink so much more and much less<br />time to strike me down im praying once again<br />wont you please take me now ive been<br />here too long ive seen too much<br />i just want to be among the spirits<br />not have to deal with this life<br />measured by the moments measured in time<br />i wish i could find the mother of mine<br />but she;s long gone from contact so<br />im mailing a letter to her former house<br />and i hope she still resides because<br />i wrote a note while i cried i told her<br />she was the greatest one i could be thankful for<br />i just wish i could have made her happier<br />i was a wreck in tough shape when i left<br />and i was too afraid to come back failure<br />wasnt an option in my head i couldnt <br />stand to see her with nothing but bad news<br />so please i pray to god you get this letter<br />because i spent so long trying to write it out<br />trying to get the words to sound so right<br />im still like before a perfectionist <br />in debt to score a line on the screen<br />but i couldnt achieve the dream we both had<br />it felt so odd it was a passing fad<br />just like my life its coming to end<br />so i say goodbye to you, i love you most<br />and if you see anyone that i called a friend<br />tell them i was happy tell them not to be sad<br />ive moved far away and i cant come back <br />ill write to you another time<br />the weathers fine, bye for now<br />love ya<br />kevin. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:lyricologist:20915 2005-05-24T02:19:23Z 2005-05-24T02:19:23Z such a good song..<br /><br />November by Azure Ray.<br /><br />so i'm waiting for this test to end<br />so these lighter days can soon begin<br />i'll be alone but maybe more carefree<br />like a kite that floats so effortlessly<br /><br />i was afraid to be alone<br />but now i'm scared that's how i like to be<br />all these faces, none the same<br />how can there be so many personalities<br />so many lifeless, empty hands<br />so many hearts in great demand<br />and now my sorrow seems so far away<br />until i'm taken by these bolts of pain<br /><br />but i turn them off and tuck them away<br />till these rainy days that make them stay<br />and then i'll cry so hard to these sad songs<br />and the words still ring, once here, now gone<br />and they echo through my head every day<br />and i don't think they'll ever go away<br />just like thinking of your childhood home<br />but we can't go back, we're on our own, oh<br /><br />but i'm about to give this one more shot<br />and find it in myself<br />i'll find it in myself<br /><br />so we're speeding towards that time of year<br />to the day that marks that you're not here<br />and i think i'll want to be alone<br />so please understand if i don't answer the phone<br />i'll just sit and stare at my deep blue walls<br />until i can see nothing at all<br />only particles, some fast, some slow<br />all my eyes can see is all i know, oh<br /><br />but i'm about to give this one more shot<br />and find it in myself<br />i'll find it in myself<br />do do do... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:lyricologist:20388 2005-05-15T23:43:10Z 2005-05-15T23:43:10Z one thing to say..<br /><b>ill fight like hell, to hide that im giving up. </b> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:lyricologist:19838 2005-04-30T04:29:21Z 2005-04-30T04:29:21Z Enter Charles<br />Charles: Jeffrey, I have arrived<br />Jeffrey: Good day, sir, may I take your coat?<br />Charles: Please do.<br />*Jeffrey takes Charles' coat and hat*<br />Jeffrey: Master Charles, how was the day? I pray t'was good?<br />Charles: T'was decent, nothing too extraordinary and I thank you for your interest.<br />Jeffrey: Why t'is my humblest and most sincere duty, sir, to welcome you to your abode. The welcome of yours is of noblest as you, sir, are noble in character.<br />Charles: Might dinner be prepared?<br />Jeffrey: That it is, sir, dinner is prepared. Please follow to the table.<br />*Charles follows Jeffrey to the table*<br />Charles: Jeffrey, when you have the time, please shine my shoes. The roads were rather harsh in the muddy condition. This rainy day is most unpleasant.<br />Jeffrey: Yes, sir. But first, please have a seat sir.<br />*Jeffrey pulls chair out for Charles at the dinner table. Exit Jeffrey, Re-Enter Jeffrey with Charles the 2nd and Mary, Jeffrey again pulls the seats out for the family.*<br /><br /><br />gotta love being the scriptwriter for a presentation.<br />Mary: Thank you kind gentleman Jeffrey.<br />Charles the 2nd: Thanks, or not! HAHA!<br />*Charles the 2nd makes a face at Jeffrey, Jeffrey exits to the kitchen.*<br />Mary: Oh Charles, behave. We're at the dinner table.<br />Charles: Your mother is right Charles, manners and respect, it stands out in our city.<br />Charles the 2nd: Yes, Papa!<br />Mary: Good lad.<br />Charles the 2nd: Papa, tell me a story. A story of the world!<br />Charles: Well, any particular story you would like to hear my lad?<br />Charles the 2nd: The story about the fire!<br />Mary: Charles the 2nd, that is not an appropriate tale for this moment. That is a night time story only.<br />Charles: Your mother is correct, Charles.<br />Charles the 2nd: But it's so good, Papa!<br />Charles: Like your mother said, lad, t'is a night time story only.<br />*Re-Enter Jeffrey*<br />Jeffrey: Dinner is about to be served.<br />*Exit Jeffrey once again*<br />Mary: Shall we say grace?<br />Charles: The words, right from my mouth they were taken. Bow your heads please. "Father Lord God, we humbly thank you for the blessings you treat us with, the luxuries we possess, the unity we have, the food, that of which we are about to consume, but most of all we thank you for the sacrifice of your only son Jesus Christ. Forever we are in debt to you, thank you. Amen"<br />*Enter Jeffrey with first course* urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:lyricologist:19472 2005-04-28T20:41:03Z 2005-04-28T20:41:03Z i feel completely naive<br />im ticking clock, an alarm <br />patiently waiting to go boom boom<br />exploding in the most passionate way<br />plastic and patterns in a different design<br />lay in shambles across your floor<br />with the numbers pasted on the screen<br />in a bright red shade <br />like the hue from the crimson<br />flowing freely through your body<br />like a running stream i cant catch <br />no matter how fast i go i just indulge the plan<br />that no matter how much i think about it <br />it can only change with each passing moment<br /><br />im frequent with the glances i give you<br />something in love in pursuit with desire in my name<br />i have somewhere with you i know that its true<br />blue is the sea that is welcoming me<br />by our place by the beach that beckons for us<br />this place we call home in an awkward fashion<br />looking like an add for a department store <br />the curtains all shaped in a linear state<br />with a shade of green thats lookin mean <br />but when morning arrives a smile thrives<br />with you sleeping next to me youre not perfect<br />but youre perfect for me<br /><br />and then i thought a sympathetic thought<br />at the funeral of my former relative<br />you know im gonna grow old some day<br />ill have to find a change in my way<br />to be someone foreign to me<br />to tell a story thats boring to me<br />itll all click in when the wrinkles<br />layer in on my face <br />in a shrewd and plotting way in some sort of fashion<br />indescribable by the words that i know<br />and it eventually will all stop with an ending<br />so someday ill maybe tell you how this story ends<br />in the most tragical way shape and form<br />another year another page<br /><br />im frequent with the glances i give you<br />something in love in pursuit with desire in my name<br />i have somewhere with you i know that its true<br />blue is the sea that is welcoming me<br />by our place by the beach that beckons for us<br />this place we call home in an awkward fashion<br />looking like an add for a department store <br />the curtains all shaped in a linear state<br />with a shade of green thats lookin mean <br />but when morning arrives a smile thrives<br />with you sleeping next to me youre not perfect<br />but youre perfect for me<br /><br />and now i think im completely alone<br />crying on my throne thinking so much<br />too philisophical to share but its great<br />that i dont care i just figure its part of life<br />but then i know i just happen to know that <br />its so odd we measure life in an age<br />not in the experiences we've had <br />or the times we've embraced, open and closed<br />because those are just for the old folks<br />like folklore from a fallen man<br />his cane was too far out <br />and now his cane is turned into a casket<br />we all die someday but youll be eternal<br />a story travelled a song remembered<br />everything ageless leads to you<br />and your beautiful self.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />this is just some other stuff i wrote..lol.<br /><br />then night comes along and im hoping<br />no wishing that i go into a state<br />without a return, a comatosed death induced<br />by the vision i have with you not<br />next to me thats a fortune i see very unclearly<br />when i die and deteriorate i hope i decompose<br />in the field where the flowers grow big <br />and i become the flower you take to your nose<br />and sniff in a sweet way i hope it tells<br />you that im patiently waiting for you <br />to come join me here and when the flower withers<br />i know ill come back to you in a different form<br />maybe the shoes you wear to protect your feet<br />from the cold of the world maybe the food that you eat<br />so ill forever be a part of your delicate heart<br />when your muscles grow at least ill know <br />that your healthier than i ever was urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:lyricologist:19215 2005-04-24T04:25:37Z 2005-04-24T04:25:37Z why live when the only concrete path is death?<br />live to die<br />live a lie<br />live a tragedy<br />live a comdey<br />live a drama<br />live an adventure<br />live to surrender<br />surrender.<br />succumb.<br />your life is done.<br />package sealed.<br />you cant be healed.<br />youre a ticking clock<br />waiting to be stopped.<br />your alarm goes off.<br />everyone watches.<br />youre dead.<br />everyone respects<br />everyone recollects.<br />everyone goes on.<br />but you.<br />stay where you are.<br />stay away from it all.<br />you cant stop the ticking clock.<br />so why not speed it up?<br />its only natural for us.<br />to speed everything up.<br />and when were being drained.<br />from our crimson wrists.<br />i shall say<br />"they cut our wrists<br />like cheap coupons;<br />suicide was on sale today."<br /><br /><br />FUCK LIFE, DEATH IS BETTER. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:lyricologist:18958 2005-04-20T04:07:01Z 2005-04-20T04:07:01Z dont take life too seriously.. its only temporary. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:lyricologist:18865 2005-04-18T05:32:49Z 2005-04-18T05:32:49Z so.. some philisophical things..<br /><br />if we're born to eventually die, what is the point in living? our existence is essentially meaningless, because the universe is indifferent to anything that goes on in the world. we are a clutter of matter, and matter is abiotic.. so we're a clutter of non-living, tiny particles that are immortal. so, even if we die it doesnt matter because everything is recycled. you came from the dead. thats intense. so basically, what im saying is history doesnt matter, the names in history have no meaning..no matter what they did or what happens because its all matter, abiotic stuff that will CONTINUE to go on even if this world explodes. thats so beautiful. so what is the point in living, if our life is so meaningless? i dont know. but youre living to find out that the only thing in life that is promised is death. we live to die, from the craddle to the casket.....<br /><br />now.. another thing..<br />truth. <br />truth is beauty<br />but beauty is misleading<br />and someone said.. truth is beauty, and beauty is truth..<br />so is truth misleading?<br />indeed. <br />in every truth, theres a hint of a lie, or an emphasis/perspective from the speaker of the truth. <br />therefore.. there is no such thing as the "real" truth.<br />that is beautiful.<br />and then theres pretending..<br />but pretending is just an illusion.<br />a quick set up for a major downfall. even better.<br /><br />so..what is there in life?<br />nothing.<br />thats the moral of the mind that speaks. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:lyricologist:17202 2005-04-03T06:55:25Z 2005-04-03T06:55:25Z am i the answer to your prayer? <br />that remains to be heard.<br /><br />Every life is a riddle, every soul, a song. The soul sings and the riddle is solved. The Siren's song ends when the riddle is solved. A rebirth, when the song turns angelic or demonic. I am all that remains in the world of mysteries. Am i a priest? No. Do i reject articles of faith? No. So what am i? I am a confused soul, split between the struggles of heaven and hell, and i posses <b>claves regni caelorum</b>. I know this place, this residence i reside in is no longer the place for me. It is a place i'll return to someday, i know this. I believe i'll go to the city of emperors, the city of <b>martyrs</b>. I'll leave everything behind, a new sunrise shall awake, a new sunset shall fall upon my eyes. And i shall realize what is needed to be understood, what is needed to be known. <br /><br />Faith is the path, action is my footsteps. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:lyricologist:16929 2005-04-03T04:46:35Z 2005-04-03T04:46:35Z so i performed another one today.<br /><br />what an experience<br />feels like im taking everything from them<br />and its all coming into me<br />and then.. i see everything, almost like deja vue<br />just its from the past. <br />intense. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:lyricologist:16765 2005-04-02T18:32:48Z 2005-04-02T18:32:48Z mmmm...tragic.<br /><br />I know its one more day without you<br />I wish i could take back all the words i said to you<br />They were thrown down to the ground<br />Stomped in to the mud, i love you has no truth<br />Its all cluttered in the mess you left<br />When you ran away, slower, slower<br />I want to catch back up to you<br />To show you how much youve left me with<br />To deal with, i know i cant feel a thing<br /><br />Your eyes tell the story of how you fucked things<br />In a catastrophic manner, because i wont talk to you<br />Youve used me too long; Wishing you could<br />Retract the footsteps that brought you to this day<br />This bittersweet point in time where i walk by you<br />Without saying a word, without my voice kissing your ears<br />And theres nothing but tears streaming from your eyes<br />I could care less; and i think to myself<br />Its so tragic i fell for the lies you fed me<br /><br />I cherished all the moments we had together<br />The laughs, the talks, i loved it all<br />The kisses, the hugs, i adored your love<br />But i wasnt the only one getting your affection<br />The way you handled my heart was delicate<br />At the start then you tossed it around<br />Like a lifeless pop can but i was so lifeless<br />I thought you liked this, when i kissed your neck<br />Kissed your cheek, you loved to sneak to some other guy<br />He always made you high, always wanted to fuck<br />He had no feelings for you like i did<br /><br />Your eyes tell the story of how you fucked things<br />In a catastrophic manner, because i wont talk to you<br />Youve used me too long; Wishing you could<br />Retract the footsteps that brought you to this day<br />This bittersweet point in time where i walk by you<br />Without saying a word, without my voice kissing your ears<br />And theres nothing but tears streaming from your eyes<br />I could care less; and i think to myself<br />Its so tragic i fell for the lies you fed me<br /><br />I swear you cut me deep when you wouldnt talk to me<br />About the things you were doing behind my back<br />Your friend had to tell me behind your back<br />That you were out with Dave, my best friend<br />At the movies, at the diner, you told your friend<br />You thought he was way finer, then he cut you<br />When he found June, she was bright in his eyes<br />You were a rainy day, then you had the nerve to come back to me<br />After you said those things you did; im not feeling<br />The same way you feel for me <br />So bye bye pretty girl urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:lyricologist:15907 2005-04-01T06:41:50Z 2005-04-01T06:41:50Z Straylight Run - Existentialism on Prom Night. have you ever been so emotionally strung out that you just dont care anymore?<br /><br />this is the perfect place to tell everyone about it. an online journal. <br /><br />ive got this whole emotional rollercoaster thing going on right now. and ist not just me thats noticed it. the past few days have been quite noticeable. like one day im all happy then the next im sad. its been more sad than happy. i think ever since friday night iv been on a steady downfall in morality, motivation and happiness. it all might seem swell on the outside, but thats where youre stuck and im writing this to show you the inside, the ugly part of me. i usually just hit the a little bit of the stuff on my mind but tonight ill let you all the way in, no foot in the door business, youll be entirely in. all the little holes in my "soul" have accumulated and now theres a gap, bleeding through and written in an entry for you. now im going to let my mind take over and just type. we arent one, but we're two. two in a sense that we may be together but we dont always coexist or cooperate perfectly. its like im having an out of body experience. <br /><br />i spent 4 hours at the church today and still i couldnt get my mind clear. when the priest, pastor whatever you call him, turned his back i drank the holy water. i figured id be purified and that i would be able to clear my mind instantaneously. i sat and prayed, i sat in confession, spit out my sins and shocked the heart of the holy man. he said i was quite an odd child, an old soul but a young body. is that why i feel so out of place everywhere i go? i lied. theres one place i dont feel out of place. ill tell you later on. but continuing. im out of place everywhere i go. theres only one place where i belong but i just cant belong there because that would bring the calm. the calm, a time when there is no sin, sin, the great beast defeated. the murderer of sin. heh. maybe its because i performed that practice from Leviticus on someone. it felt great at the time, like i was someone with a higher purpose in a world where higher purpose is unattainable. somehow i reached that when i ate the salt and bread. barathmae, barathsect. blood in, blood out. it felt great to consume it all, damn myself. anyway, the holy man allowed me to sit and reflect and pray. it soothed a little but i was not satisfied. too much on my mind, with such little time.<br /><br />its funny how i say i have such little time. where is it going anyway? its always staying the same pace. leave me in the dark, its usually where im left for the most part. i know only enough to get me by the small obstacles but i know not enough to allow me to understand the obstacles. why is the liquid salt coming down my face? is it because im tired or another reason? take it this way..<br />ive been awake for a long time, and im sorry but im tired. you should help me sleep, my soft linen bed has been awaiting me.<br /><br />i feel abandoned<br />i feel distraught<br />i feel like everything is going nowhere<br />i feel like im heading somewhere i dont wanna go<br />i feel like enough to know that im missing something important<br />is it that i miss something?<br />or do i miss someone?<br /><br />if its that, that i miss something then i know what i miss. i miss knowing that im going to be fine.<br />and yes<br />i do miss someone<br />i miss amanda. i swore to myself i wouldnt mention her but ive gone and done it.<br />so amanda..she's amazing. i like everything about her so far. everytime we hang out, i feel good. i lied. i feel like im on top of the world. like everything is so great that nothing can go wrong. and i want to make her feel that way, like everything is good and ill be there for everything, even if i have to miss something for her. even if its a hug she needs, the bus ride is worth it. id take care of her if she were sick. well, she was sick monday its just i need to find out where everything is in her place so i can take care of her. anyway..i bid you adieu.<br /><br />im going in and out of consciousness. <br />im going to the lake tomorrow maybe<br />possibly to the lake, yeah, sounds good<br />im going to have some smokes.<br />i could really go for one..two..twenty. im starting to get addicted.<br />what started out as a casual thing is starting to become soothing and its helping me cope with my stresses as of late. its becoming habitual.<br />yes<br />so i let you in partially because im tired and that is all. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:lyricologist:14675 2005-03-23T12:56:01Z 2005-03-23T12:56:01Z misconceptions and misunderstandings<br />why are they so familiar to me?<br />its not me, but it is others. i know its very bold of me to say its others, but in all honesty it is truth. once i get in a flow, any interuption causes me to lose my train of thought, derailed. like a true train derailment, people die. however in my derailment of thought, the people are metaphorically my flow of ideas. i could say the perfect words, but that is left to the unknown, because i was interupted. i attempted to write an entry for my laurier thing, the abs, and i was interupted. time passed, fumes escalated. it all ended with a "get the fuck out" and "i dont care if you come back". though i only went to smoke a j, the words were deep. if i was made of glass, you would be cleaning the shards as they are scattered, shattered with blood all around. <br /><br />hey im pleading my soul is bleeding the wounds are too deep i cant fix this problem myself. i feel so alone in this house, its like im a stranger in a new city, abandoned.<br /><br />crush my eyes, theyve been blinded by lies.<br />open your ears, your eyes lie.<br />the advertisements are really wanting you to stay fucked up.<br /><br />truth is beauty, beauty is truth.<br />if you seek truth, does your beauty take shape?<br />find your oasis, that is truth.<br /><br />anyway, last night i got bored..and decided to look up Sin Eating. it was a practice where excommunicanos paid others to consume their sins through a ritual in order to be sinless, thus allowing them to have a passage to heaven. the others, were wealthy people as time progressed. they became like God, giving and forgiving. at first, i figured it was just a movie thing, but it is actually part of the bible, the old testament.. Leviticus 17:21-22. so i kinda know the actual ritual. crazy? maybe. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:lyricologist:14545 2005-03-21T04:04:06Z 2005-03-21T04:04:06Z God.<br />The univeral being of creation, sacrifice, and sanctity, with the power of salvation or damnation. I have my faith in the Lord, and in the offspring of the Lord, Jesus Christ. The Bible, and its commandments, are stories written by men. Man likes to expand on insignificant events that occur, as well as add words that explain things that never actually happened. The Bible, to me however, does hold some sort of truth, in that Jesus Christ was crucified. He was crucified out of jealousy, a disease in which all men and women have, also known as a form of <b>temptation</b>. However, all the events that took place prior to his crucification have no real meaning, and to me are all insignificant. The stories remind me of the writings of Homer, and the Trojan War. Homer used flowery linguistics and brought about many little events that had no real meaning. The ten commandments are our morals, but were not defined by a divine being. Instead, we created them to help govern our laws, to help bring about stability in an uncivilized world. We are <b>barbaric</b> in nature, so they were <b>created</b> by man to help the judicial system. <br /><br />It is good to have a faith, as it keeps the mind healthy. Faith is greater than strength. <b>Strength may move mountains, but FAITH can move an entire Civilization</b>. Enough said. Meditation and prayer bring about an inner medium, or an inner peace which help alleviate stress. Mental stress is predominant in developped countries because of our economical structures. This leads me to believe that prayer or meditation is essential for all, even if there is no belief in a divine being. Faith, is what i have. A divine being does exist, however the divine being (whom we have named "God") does not intervene in our petty lives. Instead, "God" sits back and watches our successes and failures like a reality television show. This is how we are with our reality television shows. We are constantly watching and attempting to govern and tell the characters what exactly to do. We are losers. This is how "God" is. "God" sits back and watches us as we struggle on a daily basis to provide for ourselves and the ones we hold dear. <br /><br />so live for the moment because once its gone you cant go back, you can only regret.<br /><br />im really not in the mood to say anything really..although i want to state one thing.<br /><br /><b>I want to leave and live a nomadic lifestyle</b>. I want to move somewhere, work for a few months then move again, living in a completely different city. this is what i would like to do for quite some time. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:lyricologist:13874 2005-03-19T08:26:57Z 2005-03-19T08:26:57Z Momma Says Fuck You i have some things i want to say..<br /><br /><br /><br />..but im too drunk to say anything right now.